


Of Hard-Hitting News and the World’s Worst Shoes

by charmandhex



Series: Taakitz Week: The Taakitz Awakens [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And I mean the theme is fashion disasters for a reason, Background Blupjeans because why not, Fashion shows are a good idea to raise money right, Kravitz is sent to go write about it, M/M, Taakitz Week, Twins plus Ren are starting a school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 18:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16143173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmandhex/pseuds/charmandhex
Summary: Catwalk? More like “can’t walk” for Taako, not in the shoes Ren foisted on him. At least if he’s on a collision course, it’s with the most beautiful man he’s ever seen.Day 1 of 2Taakitz2Week: Balance; fashion disasters; "That's going to leave a mark."





	Of Hard-Hitting News and the World’s Worst Shoes

            Kravitz doesn’t know what he’s doing here. Well, he does; he’s here to cover a charity show for a new Neverwinter school for orphans and at risk children. The problem is, it’s also a fashion show. Hardly the investigative journalism Kravitz usually works on for NWT.

            But then Keats went and got sick within the past week (he’s okay, but not up to being out and about). And then it seemed like literally everyone else had other things to be working on. Except for Kravitz and Barry. And exactly _who_ was going to trust Barold J. _Bluejeans_ to cover a _fashion show_? They hadn’t even bothered to ask.

            Which meant it fell to Kravitz.

            Kravitz shifts in his seat in the front row, looking around. At least for once he doesn’t feel overdressed in a suit. He recognizes more than a few faces from some of his previous stories involving prominent politicians and wealthy families. And is that Lord Artemis Sterling himself over there? How’d a school’s charity event swing that? Kravitz tilts his head, birdlike and curious. There’s a story somewhere around here, he can tell. A story that’s probably much more interesting than watching pretty people stride flawlessly across a stage.

            He glances down at the program, scanning it for any hint of that story. The name of the school is emblazoned across the top and below that, the names of the siblings, twins if Kravitz is remembering correctly, who are starting the school. The theme, coincidentally enough, is Story and Song. Then there are a list of designers and some of the more well-known models. At the bottom is, “And thanks for all the help… you know ;)” in purple script.

            Kravitz does know, a clear reference to the fact that the donations from most of the people here will probably amount to a full dragon’s horde or two by the end of the night. At least it’s definitely a good cause.

            The thing Kravitz doesn’t know, however, is exactly what he’s getting into.

 

* * *

 

            Taako doesn’t know what he’s doing here. Okay, listen, he fuckin’ does know _why_ he’s here. After some highly lucrative shenanigans of questionable legality involving one Greg Grimaldis, he and Lup have finally accumulated enough money to open a school. It’s sentimental as fuck, but, along with Sizzle It Up, it’s been something they’ve talked about since they were the plucky underfed orphans running around just trying to get by. And Lup is right; it _is_ a great idea to do a fashion show with Ren (and a few others) to help with some of the startup costs and start stockpiling away the scholarship money. More money from rich bastards who wouldn’t donate if no one were watching and more publicity for their friend and adopted sister, who manages to do design gorgeous clothes on top of literally everything else she does. It’s a win-win.

            The only problem here is what he’s actually _doing_ here. Being _in_ the show had never been a part of Taako’s plan. Or, that’s the first problem. The second is these gods damned shoes.

            “Ren!” He stomps over to the aforementioned Drow, only stumbling twice in the absurd shoes that Ren had given to him with a wink and a smile.

            “Yes, Taako?”

            “Ren. Ren, darling, my sweet baby sister. I can’t fuckin’ _walk_ in these things.” Taako lifts a leg up to point at one of the offending shoes before quickly setting it down to maintain some semblance of balance. “Give me something else. Anything else.”

            “There aren’t any other shoes, not ones that match or ones in your size.” Ren repeats the same thing she’s said all evening so far. Taako is sincerely regretting all those times he ditched planning meetings for this to go fuck around with Magnus and Merle; Lup had informed him with a smug grin that she and Ren had covered this extensively then. “What happened to those flip wizard capabilities anyway?”

            “Those are for _cooking_. You know, what I’m actually good at.” Taako pushes back the ridiculously oversized hat she’s pushed on him. Which is part of the problem. Taako knows he’s gorgeous and knows that he looks even more so in the outfit Ren designed specifically for him. Hell, she managed to make it fit perfectly without Taako once trying it on, a true miracle (and testament to the fact that this particular adopted sister probably has his measurements memorized).

            So, he looks amazing. Normally, he’d be thrilled and prepared to go out for a night of fun with the affectionately named Starblaster family.

            But no, he’s expected to go out there and walk across a runway because… rich people?

            “Ren. Listen. It’s fine. I’ll just change back to, uh, regular clothes, and-”

            “We’ve already covered that, too. You and Lup are the real face of the school, and you need to go out there. Having you both part of the show is good for donations. Plus, even if you just showed up at the end in the clothes you were wearing, you looked like you jumped into a swamp and then off a train and slept in it when you came in.” Ren says, helpfully and none too tactfully.

            “She’s right, Koko.” Lup’s laughing voice reaches him before his twin sister does. Taako is displeased to note, ears twitching, that her shoes seem less like death traps and more like actual shoes. “Good publicity and better money and all that.”

            “Yeah, Taako! It’ll be fine!” They’re approached by Magnus, grinning in his bear-inspired costume, while Sloane is still making last minute adjustments and resigned to the fact that her model is incapable of standing still. “You just need to get out there and strut!” He says confidently, flexing.

            Taako eyes his friend. “Excuse me?” He says, voice dripping with irritation that is hiding genuine discomfort. “I’m not a piece of meat!”

            “This is what you were born to do!” Magnus nods vigorously. At least someone is enthusiastic. But then, the instant Ren had cautiously brought up the idea, Magnus had rushed right in and volunteered.

            “No! I mean- I’m not a model! I’m a chef!” Taako would almost stamp his foot if he thought he could do so without falling over. “I don’t understand what I’m being asked to do here!”

            “Okay, okay.” Lup lays a hand on his shoulder. “Magnus, Ren, can you give me a sec with the world’s best middlest brother?”

            “For the last time, Lulu, I’m the oldest.” Taako grumbles, no heat to it. He lets her steer him away and somehow magically manage to keep him on his feet. They’ve always been good about support and keeping each other stable though.

            “Hey. Taako. Talk to me.”  Taako shakes his head though, ears drooping. “This isn’t just about the shoes, is it?”

            “Okay, listen. It’s, uh, it’s-” Taako trips over his own tongue just as he’s tripped over his own feet. “What if I fuck it up, Lup?”

            She knows exactly what he’s referring to. “That wasn’t your fault. Nope, absolutely wasn’t, and we both know that.” Lup adds on as she sees he’s about to object before she softens her tone. “And this isn’t that, Taako. You’re not doing this by yourself this time. You’re not losing me again. I’m here. We’re all here.” At the small smile from Taako, Lup breaks into a wide grin of her own. “Besides, there’s no way you can be worse than _Merle_.”

 

* * *

 

            Kravitz will say this at minimum of the show: at least he’s not bored. Having never done anything like this and only going because Raven had looked at him with one eyebrow arched and that was that, he had assumed that he would very quickly be bored off his tailored pants-clad ass. It seemed almost painfully linear, unsmiling models strutting down the stage and back while the attendees posed just as much as the models themselves.

            This is not that.

            The violinist off to the side, who Kravitz would readily bet was _not_ dressed by one of the designers here, starts up, and silence falls over the crowd. Even Kravitz finds himself almost holding his breath with anticipation.

            The show starts off with a bang, _quite literally_ , as a human that Kravitz would certainly not describe as a typical model practically rushes onto the stage. The bear of a man is dressed as a bear, or at least in some bear-inspired attire complete with mask. He’s grinning widely, eating up the attention, as he strides out. There’s a shout from somewhere, further down from where Kravitz is sitting or even backstage, “That’s my husband!” Impossibly, the bear man grins even wider, periodically flexing. After him are a ram, a raven (Kravitz makes a note to himself to be sure to tell Raven that particular detail), a dwarf in an owl-inspired outfit, octopuses (Or is it octopi?) and hammerhead sharks, as well as more nature-inspired outfits, vines, thorns, lightning, even a tornado. The designers, looking like they walked straight out of a cherry blossom tree themselves, bring up the last of the presentation, smiling and holding hands.

            There’s a pause, a change in the lighting to something like bioluminescent fungi, a change in the music, to something a little darker and oddly… somehow German? There’s a few gasps as the first person comes out in an outfit very clearly inspired by spiders. The outfits get more and more elaborate as they go, one absolutely covered head to toe with black lace like cobwebs, another seeming to have eight spider legs, another still looking as though they have webbing for hair. Kravitz is unsurprised, to say the least, when the designer comes out in a full spider themed robe and enormous purple sunglasses.

            One designer seems to favor train-inspired attire and the word “juicy” across the butt. A pair of elves, one with red hair and one with purple, take a woodsy and fantasy Greek mythology approach. A Halfling with red hair has some kind of metallic aesthetic, mixed with crystals of all colors.

            There’s a pause in the music. The violinist speaks, voice echoing over the speaker system “So, uh, finale’s up next, and, uh, I wrote this song myself for it, so, like, hope you really enjoy the Story and Song.” The music starts, violin still, but more, ethereal and alien, something that resonates through the room and beyond.

            Many of the people who came before return to the stage. Kravitz notes the bear human and the owl dwarf from the first show; a designer who had lots of blue and silver in her show; quite possibly the tiniest old lady he has ever seen; and even a small boy who looks to be the fanciest person of the evening. And that includes Lord Artemis Sterling in that assessment.

            An elf woman, practically ablaze in reds and oranges struts out, smiling and confident. It looks like there is another elf just behind her, with tall shoes and a taller hat.

 

* * *

 

            Taako’s face finally shifts from pained grimace to performer’s smile just before he sets foot onto the catwalk. And then, light.

            No, seriously, a fuckton of lights. It’s a fucking riot of color out here, a little bit like a party in the Underdark. Probably where Ren got the inspiration. Lup looks entirely at ease as she turns to walk back in, and the smile she flashes him is genuine and encouraging.

            And okay. Just walking. Just not falling on his ass. Taako can do this. Taako can definitely do this.

            Taako can most definitely not do this.

            He makes it about halfway down the catwalk with only two slightly wobbly steps when the worst happens. Taako slips, slides, spins, careens, and, arms frantically wheeling, trying to either regain his balance or take flight, falls. And falls hard into the lap of someone in the audience.

            “Yep. That is going to leave a mark. Or six.” Taako mutters under his breath as he attempts to scramble off the poor sap without causing any further damage. “Eighth _fuckin’_ time I’ve _died_ in these shoes.” The person he’s fallen into seems to be made of solid crystal. Cold crystal at that. Taako manages to get to standing. “Look, sorry, my dude, I-”

            _FUCK._

            Because, naturally, the guy he used to break his fall is absolutely beautiful. He’s tall and solid and looks amazing in a suit. His jawline is sharper than the crystal Taako had jokingly thought he was made out of, but there are laugh lines around his eyes that reveal a propensity to smile. He’s wearing his hair long and in braids with gold beads sparkling throughout. His brown eyes even fuckin’ sparkle in this lighting, despite the clear concern in them.

            “No, it’s fine, it’s fine, are you- are you okay?” He straightens the glasses that had been knocked askew by Taako’s, uh, not-so-graceful landing, and Taako feels like his heart skips a beat along with the music. He should not have the right to be this attractive. It’s unfair to Taako.

            “Never better, my fella.” And now the very attractive besuited bespectacled guy is staring at Taako like he’s an alien, and hoo boy, Taako needs outta here. “Uh, are you okay?”

            “Oh, yes, I’m, I’m fine. Are you okay?”

            Taako opens his mouth and then closes it, ears twitching, as he realizes mystery cutie repeated the question at the same time he does. The man snaps his mouth shut in response, and Taako thinks he’s blushing, but it’s hard to tell with the lights still bouncing around.

            “Taako?” Lup has looped back around and is crouching on the stage to be able to talk to him. “You okay?” Her voice sounds casual enough to the people standing next to them, thankfully giving them a wide berth right now, but Taako knows his sister, and she’s worried. When he grins, some of the tension leaves her shoulders and her ears relax.

            And Taako knows his sister. So he knows when, reassured of his _comparative_ well-being (he did just crash land off a stage after all), she looks past him to see just who he landed on, and her face breaks out into a shit-eating grin.

            Again. _FUCK._

 

* * *

 

            “Care to help some twins out?” And Kravitz looks between the woman on the catwalk and the man who fell into his lap and does a double take. Clearly distinct, but still nearly identical in appearance, and both absolutely gorgeous. Kravitz would hazard a guess that he’s just met the twins behind the school and show.

            The stage isn’t that high up, so it’s easy for the woman on stage to pull her brother up. She grins, waves around to the people, before extending a hand out to Kravitz.

            He takes it, expecting, well, a handshake? Certainly not for the woman to tug upward until Kravitz finds himself in the undignified position of climbing onto the stage. He definitely feels his face heat up this time, and not just from the stage lights. The cute elf looks like he wants for a sinkhole to appear beneath him, and, to be honest, Kravitz wouldn’t mind joining him there.  Not because he’s cute! Though he definitely is! But because _why_ had the woman literally dragged him into this as well?

            “Hey, mind giving Taako here an escort so he doesn’t wipe out half the nobility falling off again?”

            ”Seriously, Lup it’s-” And Taako is cut off in surprise as Kravitz extends an arm for Taako to take. Which is something Kravitz is equally surprised about, having done it entirely without thinking. He chalks it up to just how cute Taako is. Or perhaps he’s still stunned from Taako’s impact.

            “Just go with it, Ko.” Lup hisses before nudging her brother into Kravitz. Taako stumbles, and Kravitz automatically catches him again to ensure that he doesn’t take another tumble.

            Taako’s face is very much red once he’s steadied himself, but he takes Kravitz’s arm, pastes on a smile, and they start walking.

            This is so far outside of what Kravitz expected. He relaxes after a few steps along with Taako, though it seems to help now that he’s no longer in imminent danger of shoe-related death. He’s posing more comfortably now, practically hanging off of Kravitz at times, while Kravitz manages to shrug his jacket off along the way. They look good together, he knows, almost like a matched set.

            “Oh, hey, thug, before I forget, what’s your name?” Taako whispers conversationally as they make their way off stage.

            “Oh. Uh. It’s, it’s Kravitz.”

            “Well, hey, listen, thanks a lot, Krav.” Taako smiles, and it’s beautiful. And then they’re offstage.

 

* * *

 

            “Taako!” At least Ren has the courtesy to look concerned, after her shoes caused Taako’s life to flash before his eyes. Granted, he met Kravitz out of it, but, hey, he could have done that without the collision. “Are you okay?”

            “Yeah, I’m good, sweet baby sister.”

            “Taako, I hate to break it to you, but I’m adopted.” Ren turns to Kravitz. “Thank you for helping him.”

            “It was my pleasure. I mean, not that it was a pleasure that he fell on me. Because I was worried! That he got hurt! In the fall. But it was my pleasure to, uh, to help afterward.” It’s undeniably cute how Kravitz stumbles through the explanation. Or perhaps Taako is just biased. “So, uh, should I… go?” Kravitz points, and Taako wants to object. Yes, he is most certainly biased.

            Ren looks between the two of them, and Taako knows that his adopted sister has drawn the same conclusion as his twin. “Well, I mean, you could, but, um, the show’s almost over, and we… have to go on in-” Ren checks her watch and who’s onstage, “-two minutes, so, uh, if you _really_ wanted to continue helping… you could stay for that?”

            “Hell yeah.” Lup pops up behind them. “And stick around for the after party, too, huh?”

            “I… I mean, I could, but, uh, full disclosure, I’m here to write about the event and the school…”

            “Oh, fan-fuckin’-tastic!” Lup says sincerely, clapping her hands together. “You help us out, and then Koko can give you the full scoop on anything you might need!”

            “Hey, Lulu? Preeeeeetty sure I could have told him that, too.”

            “So, do it then.”

            Taako turns to Kravitz, who’s looking a bit bemused between the three of them. Somehow he seems to have not caught on to the fact that Taako’s sisters are very much trying to wingman the shit out of this situation, and for that Taako is grateful. “So, uh, Krav, wanna stick around? I can uh… you know, listen, I can help with anything you need on the story, or, uh, any follow up. Follow up conversation? Over wine? Pottery? Wine and pottery?”

            “Oh, that sounds great. Here, uh, let me get your-” Kravitz is interrupted by a small gasp from Ren, and then they’re all being shoved back up to the catwalk. At least Kravitz keeps Taako from stumbling. And while he’s distracted, Taako slips a piece of paper into his pocket.

 

* * *

 

            Kravitz was having a fine time at the after party up until he lost track of everyone he even mildly recognizes. Taako and Lup are in the middle of schmoozing with some Goldcliff bankers across the room, while Ren is talking to Lord Artemis Sterling with the dwarf from earlier. “Hey, Kravitz,” A familiar but unexpected voice gets Kravitz’s attention, and he turns, mildly astonished, to see Barry Bluejeans. He’d be less shocked to see Barry in the middle of a graveyard or creepy cave lair than he is to see him here. And still wearing blue jeans.

            “Hey, Barry. What are you… ah, how did you happen to be here?”

            “Oh, my fiancée is, um… she’s Lup.” He points across the room, and if Kravitz had any doubts about that statement, they evaporate when he sees the adoring looks the pair trade when they make eye contact. Kravitz feels almost as if he’s intruded in on something private

            “Oh. Congratulations.” Kravitz says. He didn’t even know that Barry was engaged. “Wait, so if you were going to be here anyway, why didn’t you have the assignment?”

            Barry shrugs. “Nobody asked.” That is… probably a fair point.

            “Oh, uh, would you happen to know how to get a hold of Taako later? I don’t know if he’ll be free at any point, and I, uh, wanted to follow up… for the article.”

            Barry chuckles, and Kravitz isn’t sure why. “Knowing Taako, he’s already given you his number.”

            “No, uh, he definitely didn’t tell me anything.”

            “Pockets.” Barry says, in a manner which seems to indicate that he thinks he’s giving a definitive answer.  But it’s cryptic as fuck to Kravitz. At least until he sticks his hand in his pockets and pulls out a slip of paper with a name, a number, and another ;) face.

            Well, Kravitz _did_ say it’d be good to have another conversation with Taako. Helpful for writing the article and all. Even if he knows that while the story he’d been curious about earlier is incredibly interesting, Taako is even more so.

 

* * *

 

            Raven looks at Kravitz incredulously over her desk. She looks again at the article on her screen, skimming through it, again focusing on the last few lines, before looking to Kravitz again. She takes in a deep breath. Kravitz might be preparing for the worst if he didn’t know her.

            “Definitely outside your comfort zone.” Kravitz gives a noncommittal hum. “Also really _not_ what I asked for.” Kravitz shrugs. “And you ended it with, ‘The school is expected to be operational and open within the year. Ren will be splitting her time between her work there, her work at the Davy Lamp, and her new clothing collection, Refuge. Taako and Lup will be working at the school and continuing to cook. Lup will be getting married to NWT writer Barry J. Bluejeans in ten months’ time, and, well, reader, I’m Taako’s plus one.’” Kravitz grins sheepishly.

            “You can cut it.”

            “I won’t.” Raven meets his eyes, gaze sharp but kind. “You’re covering the school opening, too.”

            It’s nice to know that both his work and his relationship has his boss and friend’s approval.

 

* * *

 

            Taako hears the door to the apartment open and feels his face spread wide in a grin, ears perk up in excitement. He sets down the piping bag and pokes his head out of the kitchen to see Kravitz taking off both shoes and jacket.

            “So, how’d it go?” He asks conversationally, still smiling as he steps out to greet his boyfriend. Which is still kind of a crazy thought, actually.

            “Article is good,” Kravitz says, grinning as well, because he _knows_ that’s not what Taako’s asking about.

            “Mmhmm.” Taako steps forward and immediately trips over Cat Angus and Prince Bastard Zuko as they race by.

            “Taako!” Kravitz lunges forward and catches his boyfriend, much to Taako’s relief.

            “Listen, sorry, babe, looks like the cats are the ones sweeping me off my feet now.”

            “But looks like you’re the one still falling for me nearly a whole year later, babe.” They both laugh, and, even after Taako has his feet solidly under him, they don’t let go.

            “So, how did it go?” Taako prompts again. “Listen, love to hear about all the wonderful articles about Taako, but, uh, you… got any news?”

            “Oh, yeah, lots of news. Because I’m the newest associate editor at NWT.”

            Taako laughs, uproarious and ecstatic. “ _Dork._ ” He says affectionately, more than content to just look at Kravitz’s happy face for the next few hours. “I’m… I’m proud of you, my man. Actually, I’m pretty sure I love you.”

            Kravitz lights up, and Taako’s never going to get tired of that reaction. “I love you, too.” He’s never going to get tired of those words either.

            “Now, come on, macarons are ready, and if we’re late, Lup might kill us. Or Ren. Or Maggie. Or Julia. Did I mention Lup?”

            “Yeah, but Barry could bring us back.”

            “You know, you make an excellent point.” Taako goes in to kiss his boyfriend.

            They both know exactly what they’re doing here, and they’ve never been happier about it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!
> 
> Day one of Taakitz week: check! If you've made it this far, hope you enjoyed it! I subsist on comments and caffeine.
> 
> Hit me up at [charmandhex](https://charmandhex.tumblr.com), especially if you want to see what I'm doing for the next six days (because goodness knows I want to see what I'm doing for that, too!)


End file.
